The real story behind the big hit... yeah, right.
Song had charisma.
It was the year 613 AD. The Sui Dyansty ruled the land of Yingzhou. A ’skilled magician’ named Song Zixian gained followers by making a room glow and projecting images of snakes, men and animals in a mirror. He said that these images were the forms in which they would be ‘reincarnated as’.
Imagine how many fans you could get if you could convince people you are Biggie Smalls? Ok, bad example. Elvis? How about Buddha?
Song led a coup against the current powers-that-be that resulted not only in his defeat, but in the execution of ‘over a thousand families’ suspected of collaborating with him. If you figure a ‘family’ of that time is at least two generations, the carnage was heavy.
Where did Song get the idea that he was the prophesied return of Buddha?
Enter Mani, who probably hung out somewhere in the area we know as Iraq, but back in the day – like 210 AD. He chilled with the Elkasites when he was young, but when he met the Mandaeans, his mind was blown. See, the Elkasites had some cool ideas, but they were the sugar in the kool-aid of the rest of their artificial flavorings. The Mandaeans probably still have some non-kool-aid cool shit, but since the current war, they’ve been pretty much wiped out. Obviously, Mani wasn’t completely taken by the Mandaeans, since one of their big ideas is to keep your mouth shut, lest someone take their cool shit and make it wak.
Yeah, he was an original gangsta.
Now, Mani was epic. He created a script and a dogma which you would recognize in the hardcore Gnostic writings found in the North African desert, the Nag Hammadi. You know what I’m talking about. Mani’s crew spread to China not too soon after he died, wearing blue bandanas and riding carriages that could do three wheel motion.
Well, maybe the ideas spread through diffusion, but picturing Ice Cube crossing the Gobi is worthy of a moment of pensiveness.
Ok, done.
The Mahayana crew split into factions, with Mani’s dudes externalizing everything important that might have passed through, adding arrows and swords to the mix on occasion. Maybe I exaggerate, maybe I don’t. Who knows?
So Song is one of Mani’s boys, wether he knows it or not. He thinks that he is a Moonlight Child, like the 8 year old kid Liu Jinghui. A hundred years earlier, a dude Fa Quan figured it was time to take out the Man because Jinghui was transforming into snakes and pheasants. I shit you not! Mutherfucking snakes and motherfucking pheasants, since they had no planes back then.
And what does a Moonchild have to do with Lord Farquaad? Apparently, Farquaad wasn’t rounding up characters for nothng. When he found Fiona, he initiated her into the Mile High Club, thus requiring Samuel L. Jackson to throw down on their spawn, the young Jinghui.
Nevermind me, I’m doing an impromptu fiction mashup here.
How do we know these thousands of people were killed because of ol’ Mani? Dualism, that’s how. It’s like distributing guns in a Lord of the Flies scenario. It is dangerous in the wrong hands. You think I’m crazy?
I rest my case.
The most useful tools are always the most exploited resources. Don’t tell me I am full of shit on this one or I’ll shove a Google News search down your throat. Whoops, I just went dualist on your ass. Sorry.
Song figured he was Maitreya. But wielding the sword of dualism, he ended up cutting the throats of everyone who believed in him. Ain’t it funny how things boomerang and hit you in the ass?
Only if you believe that your ass exists outside of your own head.
